This week I’m going back to one of my personal favorites, Death by Marriage?. I created this artwork during a pivotal moment of clarity; one that probably changed my whole mindset about committing to marriage.
I often hear married couples talk about how as soon as they became married their spouses tried to change them. I believe however, that what inevitably changes you is marriage itself, not the other person (unless that person was not right for you to begin with...but that’s a whole other story).
When I was young, as most young girls, I dreamt of this idea of finding the perfect handsome man, falling deeply in love, getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. Why we teach our children this fantasy I will never understand. Knock it off Disney!
As I became older and experienced real life, observed others coming together, growing apart, and everything in between, I ultimately came to the belief that when two people commit to marriage it is inevitable that they lose some part of who they are individually. Perhaps some people never even get a chance to discover who they might have been on their own to begin with.
With marriage the freedom of choice in many ways diminishes; everything now becomes a compromise. You are no longer responsible for your own happiness but also that of someone else.
This is not to say that the idea of marriage doesn’t have its beauty. Having someone to share your life with, to be your best friend, to teach you things, and to love you unconditionally seems amazing. It is for most of us the thing that makes our lives meaningful.
When I created this art piece it wasn’t necessarily to say that when you get married your life is over (although some marriages do seem to do that to people), but it was more to propose the idea that you have to love that person so much that you are willing to let go of your individual identity to a certain extent to build a strong, happy and healthy life together. For those of us who are very strong-willed this is not something comes easy for us. Keep in mind this is simply my opinion and based on my personal experiences and observations, so take it for what it’s worth!
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Stories about how art inspires and changes us.