I had the urge to work with watercolors again this fine, snowy morning in April (Snow in April? What the !*^#?).
Anyway, as I sketched out my idea I day dreamt of crimson flowing silk. Interestingly enough I hated myself in red for most of my life. My sister always looked really pretty in red when we were younger. I both loved and envied how she wore it so well. I think it was too bold for me because I didn’t want to be seen back then; I wanted to sort of blend in with the background.
Only recently have I embraced the rich, bold flavors of red: a bit of crimson, a touch of ruby, a sprinkle of rose to dress up my wardrobe. Perhaps now the difference is that every so often I want to stand out a bit. It’s funny how something as simple as a color can mean so much more than just a color. Even still today I only wear red on rare occasions when the mood strikes me.
So why the dead bird? This part of my artwork was inspired by a lovely story that my friend shared with me. This past week as she walked to work she saw not one, but three dead birds. Not so lovely yet, right? However, upon looking up possible meanings she found out that a dead bird can often symbolize a new beginning. So instead of seeing things in a negative way, keep in mind that things aren’t always as they seem. I’d like to think that the dead birds represent a mourning of sorts, where one has to mourn the past in order to begin again.
The only certainty in life is that things will change, over and over and over again. As important as it is to remember the past, especially those great memories, it is equally important to embrace what is to come. After all, without new beginnings life would be rather dull now wouldn’t it?
Recently I’ve been thinking about how women and men communicate with each other. Being in a “newish" relationship, I often wonder how much I should share and how much I should keep to myself. Do women question relationships way too often instead of just letting them happen as they will happen anyway? Do we ruin relationships by analyzing them too much?
Let’s be honest, men for the most part, hate to talk about their feelings. In my experience when a man likes me, he shows me, but he just doesn’t talk about it. Women on the other hand, seem to love to talk about their feelings...pretty much all of the time. We love to analyze, and question, and predict the future, and basically drive ourselves nuts. I’ve never thought of myself as an over analyzer, but here I am over analyzing what seems like all of the time lately.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to let go of the “what-ifs” and just enjoy what’s happening in the now. I was doing great for a long time, but recently I’ve reverted backwards a bit. I think I lost some of my confidence and for the first time in a long time I felt insecure.
I had to take a moment this morning to remind myself how awesome I am. Now that my self-confidence has returned, I realized that I don’t need to keep my feelings a secret, but I also don’t need to think about them or share them all the time either. What will be, will be.
Letting go of unnecessary anxiety...and, done!
Stories about how art inspires and changes us.